A Thing Called First Love

I am sitting with her on this park bench. I am not sure what is going on her mind. I could see the tears inside her. It’s innocent as it was five years ago.

 Five years ago

It was winter vacation. All the students must be enjoying at home then. But as for me, I had to come with her. We were sitting on the same park bench in front of our school. She waited for him there since the end of summer break. I couldn’t convince her to go back home. She would wait for him with the hope that he was going to come to school and return back her smile.

Her smile??

Yes, her smile.

He would sit at the last bench. She would sit in the front with me. When the teacher wasn’t around, she would laugh at my slightest joke. I noticed many a times that he would look at her. Then, I would tell her. She would then turn back and smile at him.

Gig! He was a gig. He would just look down every time she smiled at him.

Innocent! She was innocent. She would still smile at him. Every time she smiled, she hoped for the same in return.

They were the stupid sweethearts!

How could they just be happy with that? I wasn’t sure. He was happy just looking at her. And she was happy just giving him unreturned smiles. We had this art class; he opted for music section while we were in painting section. I was tired of them. She would drag me to the music room just to get a glimpse of him pulling those strings.

Once, he waited for her outside the school gate. She was blushing all the way as they walked back home. I didn’t tag along. Well, I knew what they could have done as they walked back. I had known her for so many years.

The next day she happily told me at school that it was a silent walk. They didn’t talk. I knew it. That was what I had guessed that previous night.

It was after the summer break that she brought his portrait she made during the break. He didn’t come that day. He didn’t come the next day as well. Days passed, weeks passed…..she was all gloomy but she didn’t show it.

No one knew what had happened to him. She did try asking his friends to check out on him. They told her that his house was locked.

She went on with her life. But there wasn’t a day she wouldn’t wait for him in the park bench. winter came and it was a very cold winter for her.

After the high school graduation, everybody moved on.

He disappeared into the thin air. She was left behind with just the painting and the memories.

I am meeting her after five years. She came to my house today morning. I wasn’t surprised at all when she told me she wanted to go to school.

And now here I am with her. I thought in these five years she would have forgotten all about it. Well, I am wrong. I don’t know where he can be. I don’t even know if he is alive.

“How many smiles do I owe him?” she said after a long gap of silence.

This winter is still cold for her. As she looks back to those times, I know all she can see is his face.

“First love can be crazy and painful” this is what I am thinking right now.

To the Evolved Me, I Salute Her

My daughter got sick that morning, her blood pressure lowered and she got hospitalized. The doctor gave her sleeping pills. And there she was, lying so peacefully. There she was, with her mind out of the world, no bad dreams to disturb. I was sitting right next to her, rubbing her hands. Her hands were so warm.  The words which the doctor had told me still rang in my heart.

“She has a very weak heart. Don’t make her face anything which is going to make her unstable.”  I was so heartbroken. The whole world crumbled down for me. “She is the only person of my own. How could this happen to her” I thought at that moment.

“Ahem! Seems like you are crying, aha?”

There was a man next to my daughter’s bed. His words brought me back to senses.

“So, who is this person you are crying for? What happened?”

“She is my daughter. She is very sick. I am very worried.”

He said nothing. He returned back to his sleep. I was still sitting next to my daughter. Each time I looked at her, tears would roll down.

I stayed the whole time sitting next to her. I waited for her to wake up.

After some time, that man woke up. He looked out of his window. His bed was just next to the window.

“Ah! What a lovely child!” and he laughed out loud. It must have been a scene worth seeing but I was not in the mood, or I would rather say I didn’t have the audacity to go any meter away from my daughter.

He went on and on with various beautiful things he saw in the park, the man who was selling balloons, the couple who was walking hand in hand and so on.

I just listened blankly.

I must be really tired because I slept off.

Hours later, there was confusion in the room. The doctors and nurses surrounded that man. It seemed like he was in a critical state. They took him away.

It was then I realized that I was shivering. My whole body was shaking. I returned back to my seat, the seat next to my daughter.

When the doctor came in to check my daughter that night, she said “she should be fine, let her sleep as for now. She will wake up tomorrow. But I would advise you not to stress her out.”

She was about to leave when I stopped her.

“Doctor, how is the man who was previously in this room?”

“It’s so sad about him. He died. He is a terminal patient. And above all he was blind. But during his stay here, he was a wonderful man.”

“Oh! Thank you, doctor.”

She left.

I didn’t understand what was going on in my mind at that moment. He was blind. He was blind. He was blind.

I rushed to the window near his bed. I looked through the window; I didn’t know what lies outside. But definitely there was no park.

“Yeah! He was a wonderful man.” I murmured to myself.

The next morning, it was my daughter who woke me up.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes mom, were you very worried about me?  Did you cry?”

“So many questions…yes I was worried about you and yes I cried. But I am not going to cry anymore. And we both are going to be strong. You don’t have your papa but mama is going to be everything for you. Mama will make a great lady out of you.”

My daughter raised her eyebrow. I reckon she thought she was either dreaming or I was mad. Who would ever imagine I was going to become bold overnight.

“Honey, don’t give me that look!” I nudged my head towards that particular bed.

“There was this brave man who was sleeping here till yesterday. We have to be brave for him, for papa, for you and for me.”

My daughter was still confused.

“I am going to tell her the story of the man and his beautiful window someday. I am going to retell her each day about him.” I thought to myself.

Scientifically it may be not possible to evolve overnight. But I did evolve into a stronger woman that fine day.

The Ghost's tale

The people hardly visit this pool again. ….my pool in fact. She has even locked the door to this pool.

The old lady who lives just across the road has driven all the people away. She has been doing this for the past five years.  I have been living this way…so alone and so separated.

 I am just a normal little girl who wants to play ring around the rosey with living children.  Yes, I died five years ago……..

The old lady who lives across knows I live here since then.  I’ve heard her telling the people that I died in this pool…….and that my soul is not at peace.  I’ve seen her come with the priest trying to make me sleep.  I am still a little girl and I still don’t understand when they said my soul is not in peace. All I want is to play and play like all those children.

Last summer, a gang of some five teens came for a swim here.  There were two boys and three girls. I was happy to see them. But this girl Reggie (I heard the others calling her) didn’t seem happy like the others.  Just then the old lady came again to drive them out.

She told them, “It is dangerous here.”

Reggie snapped back, “see! I told you this place don’t seem right.”  And she stared at me, right into my eyes.  She looked sick.

 I knew it… she was highly sensitive to psychic energy just like the old lady. She must have seen me standing among them.  Of course she must be scared….this long hair and my white gown. Even though all ghosts are scary at some point to people, I would be very scared to see a little ghost girl even if it’s a harmless one.

The whole lot were grinning. I knew they didn’t believe it. Somehow, I felt lighter. The old lady was finally tired of convincing them……and she left saying “this place is haunted.”

The others resumed back to swimming.  And as for Reggie ….she could feel and sense. So she started making things creepier for the others. They were starting to get scared.  I wanted to go out from this place for the first time…..for the first time I knew I was making things weird for the livings.

They finally decided on leaving the place. While doing so a boy tripped and got hurt.  And he screamed,”holy crap!!!  The ghost…it’s the ghost.”

I was wondering if Reggie didn’t sense that I was nowhere out there when it happened.

There are two points to be noted here. One, I appeared in front of Reggie and the others. Reggie knew I wanted her to look at me. There was this connection between us. Two, the others have never really sensed my presence. They just sensed what Reggie felt. They had no psychic connection.

News had spread about me hurting the boy in the whole place. And the livings had put a big lock on the gate.

As they did this I just murmured,” please don’t do this to me….i am turning up seven this June. I want to celebrate my birthday.”

I am a little girl and I am turning up seven this June. Every summer I turn up seven.

If you have not met any spirit, be fortunate about it. A person can very easily misinterpret a spirit’s intentions. But you should know that the door you open very well may be good and helpful to a lost spirit or dangerous. The choice is yours.

Through the trap door

It was late night and in the girls’ dormitory there were these two best friends, Lona and Jodie. They were still awake. It was their last night before their vacation; by the next morning all the girls of St.Mary girls’ high school would be going back home.

Lona and Jodie were still talking about bogeyman, vampires, ghosts and all sorts of creepy things. They looked at the time. It was nearing midnight. So they cleared out the conversations from their minds and went to sleep.

A little while later, a sound woke up Lona. Jodie had just gone out of the dormitory.

Lona got up and ran after her. But soon, she lost her trial. Instead she found herself in a large empty room with numerous similar doors. She didn’t know which door to open….which door to get through.

“Is this a puzzle??? Is this a trap?” Lona thought to herself.

She held a deep breath and reached out for a door—opened it. She was shocked. It was a real freaky room. She had walked into a pool of blood and the smell of the blood was making her nauseated. She went into convulsions.  She didn’t understand what was going on….she looked around looking for clues. Her eyes met someone at the far end of the room------

IT WAS JODIE!! She was lying unconscious.

Lona called out for Jodie. She rushed to her. It must have been in a flick of second that the room changed and Jodie woke up. At once, many similar doors sprang out of the nowhere walls. A moment later, the light had faded.

“Are you okay?? What happened??” Lona asked Jodie.

“I don’t know…..”

“Come on, get up. We have to move on.”

This time, Lona didn’t think. She just pushed and opened a door.

They found themselves in a highly illuminated room with mirrors attached everywhere on the walls except for the lone door. It was wooden. The mirrors were beautiful. And it gave them goose bumps to see their own death bodies in the mirrors.

“What could be the meaning of this? Is this a prediction?” Lona asked.

“I don’t know. We have to get ourselves out of these whole crazy rooms.” Jodie answered back.

They reached out for the wooden door and opened it. They were standing in a large, circular room. The room looked very old. The walls were covered with green moss.  Everything looked green with moss including the floors and ceilings, identical, handle less four black doors were set at intervals. There were branches of candles, whose flames burned blue. In the shimmering light, the girls noticed the words that were written on the floor.

“One of us will take you to your last ordeal,

One among us will lead you to a room, thee room where you will stay for the rest of your life,

One of the remaining is a killer room—you will find only tears and tears and only blood,

One will lead you back.”

They let out a great sigh and opened a door with their fingers crossed.

“Oh!  No!”

They laughed. They had just entered a room and there was nothing there. Everything was white. A white door with metallic handle was there at the other end of the room. This was surely not the killer room. They were quite positive about it. They walked though.

Something was not right. They have been walking and walking but the white door didn’t seem any nearer.

“Hey! What’s happening?”

“I don’t want to spend here for the rest of my life.”

“Shut up, Lona! We will get out.. We will surely find a way.”

They didn’t stop walking. With every step they took, they could sense something behind them. They turned around. But it was just the two of them in the room.

Just then, out of nowhere, corpses appeared. The two screamed. Jodie, controlling her panic, started counter attacking, started hitting those lifeless bodies. Lona got a grip on herself and helped Jodie in the fight. They kicked and punched. They were outnumbered but still they continued to fight.

When there was no way of defending themselves.

“I am taking them to the other side. You get yourself out.” Jodie shouted.

“No way! We will go out together.”

“I know what exactly I have to do. You came here for me and I need to get you back to your family. This crazy thing wouldn’t leave us alone. You just go… I will follow you a while later.”

 The corpses didn’t realize that there was someone missing from the scene.

As for Lona, she knew Jodie’s plan was working. Because this time, with every big step she took, she was getting nearer. Before she opened, she turned back. Jodie was still fighting.

“Jodie……” she shouted.

The corpses had seen her.

JERK!!

Lona fell down, a corpse was pulling her leg. She kicked.

“Lona….go!! GO!!!” Jodie screamed.

Lona reached out for the door with great effort. Yes! She did it. She opened the door….

…….She woke up with a start. It was already seven in the morning. She felt as if her heart and brain were about to explode. The encounters she just had seemed so real. She could hear the thumping and throbbing of her heart. Sweat was pouring off her.

She turned towards Jodie’s bed but she wasn’t there. Her packed trunk was there. The other girls were getting ready to leave.

“Where has she gone? She wakes me up every day.” She thought.

Her head was spinning. She could feel her heart beat even more. She was so exhausted.

Tediously, she asked the other girls if they had seen Jodie.

 To her surprise, none of them had seen her that morning. Her heart jolted. All the encounters she went through were playing in her mind like a film without sound…..the rooms…Jodie vanishing among the corpses……she was perturbed……

……..”Was it just a nightmare….or……the nightmare scenario…..”

My best friend is my aunt is my best friend

The sun had risen up. Actually it was not the sun’s ray, which was illuminating the room, that woke me up. It was my aunt’s voice that woke me up.

I was used to this alarm…my aunt’s alarm.

I always stayed with my aunt. My mom and dad both worked in a company so they would go out early in the morning and return back late.

My aunt’s final exam had just ended and it was her vacation. I was also having my summer break.

“Abemma…hey baby…wake up…pipi is here.”

Like my aunt called me abemma….I called her Pipi.

I was five years old at that time and Pipi was sixteen. In spite of the age gap, she was more like my best friend to me.

My mom, as usual, handed her the bag with my stuffs…that day’s stuffs. Then Pipi took me to her room. 

Home sweet home…a great place to live. But without mom and dad at home, I would need to make a number of unsubstantiated assumptions about the attributes that makes “home” a homely attractive home. Pipi’s room was my home. All my dreams and memories lies in there. And I spent most of my time in her room.

I don’t understand how she managed to stay with me the whole day every day. She never got tired of being with me. Infact I was never tired of her too.

“Pipi….let’s play computer game.
Pipi’s father had a computer in his room. We broke into his room gingerly-played until our eyes would pop out-came out gingerly again like nothing had happened. Grandpapa never allowed us to touch his computer.

Pipi then told me,”Abemma we shouldn’t play this everyday……you see we will become fat like teletubbies…. someday”

I laughed and replied “I will be the yellow one.”

“No…..you are the red one and m the yellow one
“Yellow”

“Red”

And then we would fight on and on about it.

“Pipi, tell me a story.”

She nodded.

I got down from the bed and took a copy of tinkle from her bookshelf. I took it to her. Narrating stories was her specialty. And I love to hear her stories…..except for the fact that she would always end up sleeping before she completes her story.

She had started narrating the story from the Tinkle I brought. After some two or three minutes, her voice became completely inaudible. And that was when I woke her up.

“Pipi…Pipi…..come on…you can’t sleep. You have to complete the story.”

“Ohh…ahhh….” She began with those expressions. She mumbled some few unrelated words…and then she went back to her sleep.

I waited for hours for her to wake up. I was not unhappy or strongly displeased about it. My aunt, my Pipi would do anything I wanted. I love my aunt. I even enjoyed waiting for her to wake up.

“Rosie…..come……it’s the time for floral tribute”

It’s my husband calling out for me. I closed my aunt’s diary. Thanks to it….that I can clearly remember my childhood days with her.

Today is my aunt’s fifth death anniversary.

I am in my late forties and I still wish that Pipi was here with me today and play with me.

All these years after her death, I am cherishing every moment we had together by reading her diary.

She is my all time best friend.

I love you,Pipi.

I Had A D-Day

There weren’t any flowers I liked… I had been flying around that place for the past one hour.

The only thing which caught my attention was the open window on the third floor of the white building.

I went in there…

“Human!” I said to myself.

I couldn’t imagine that it was a “girl’s” room.

My house is much cleaner than theirs.

I sat on a big red rock…..I guess it was a box… I was looking at those girls…..they ran up and down very confused.

Of course they didn’t notice me. Silly girls!

Both the girls were spectacled. One was taller than the other. The taller girl opened her standing box. They were something shiny inside. Curiosity overtook my mind and I went inside there.

BANG!

It was dark inside. She had closed her box. I zoomed inside her box (what else could I have done)

“These girls! Their eyesight must be really poor. Why didn’t they notice me?” I murmured to myself. I tried banging that hard thing which was the transition between light and dark. I used all my strength but I couldn’t open it.

Time passed and passed, I zoomed and zoomed.

It was hours later that the taller girl opened the box….the standing box!

My head had gone all heavy and dreamy. May be it’s because I stayed in the dark for too long. May be I missed my home. But then I still ed stayed inside her box.

I was so surprised she didn’t notice me that time too. The other girl came and took out a black carry thing.

“Oh! Pity them! They must be really blind” I thought.

Sometime later, those two girls were staring at some bright screen. The taller girl was pressing her ears and the other girl was hiding herself behind a pillow.

It was a funny scene.

I wanted to go nearer. My new roommates were funny..And I wanted to know more about them.

I flew there. They were so absorbed in that bright thing….bright moving pictures.

I was enjoying with them. (They still haven’t noticed me)

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

They shouted in chorus.

My goodness! They scared the hell out of me that I sat on the taller girl’s leg.

The game started then. 
This time they had noticed me. The taller girl cried in pain and the other girl stood up maliciously…everyone would do the same when they see a stranger in their room. I would do the same.

I was more than scared. I was so numb. I didn’t know what to do.

Before I could do anything else.....

PHATTTT!

The other girl had dropped something big on me.

It was hard breathing inside that hard thing.

it was hours later that the other girl opened up. She stared at me for a moment.

I couldn’t move my body! She kept staring at me.  The taller girl rushed to the scene. She was also staring at me. I think they thought I was death.

The other girl took a paper…..she applied some creamy thing on that paper…..and she wrapped me up inside the paper. It was so heavenly inside,the flowery scent surrounding me.

After that I think she kept me outside the window.

The wind carried me away….
Now I am back to normal, very fit.

The tall girl should be okay…I hope she is fine now!

That day was really something. I’ll carry that adventure in my heart to grave.

P.S. I am the little orange bee who lives around the corner of the white building!

malefactor

“I hate to wake up.”

They cursed me tonight again.

 “I must be a really bad husband….i must be a really bad father” I thought. All I did was yelled at them and caused ruckus at home. i admit my mistake.

I ve tried many a times to be a better man. But I keep on crawling towards this heavenly “liquid”.

I remember the many times I had came home all drunk and ended up beating my wife and son. I went all wild and lost all my control. Once, I didn’t sleep that night. I was so sorry. Yet , I didn’t have the courage. Later,when they were asleep I sat beside them, my hands running through my wife’s lovely hurt hands. Her hands no longer have its softness. My  son…..he must have cried when he slept. His face was still wet.

“how could I have done that?”

“I should give up….i will change myself”

Yeah! That’s right, that was not the  first time or the last time I thought  that I would change myself.

I am a coward. I am not a man.

I did try hard. Honestly!

But “trying” wouldn’t satisfy them. How can they expect me to be changed overnight? They believe in miracles.

I refrained from the company I was keeping. I would go back home,with the day’s earning and help my wife. I would watch my son play.

They wanted more.  They were still not happy with what I  did. May be they have become used to all hateful emotions towards me. But I kept quiet and accepted everything.

Today  morning, my wife left my clothes again.  And as usual I washed them myself. I didn’t like to complain. I  am getting all the “bads” for all the “bads” I have done….and so I won’t complain.

I still had the malefactor in me. And I stole the money my wife saved.

My heart and soul were contented…..i drank and drank.

This time……I didn’t do anything. I went to my bed quietly. I know I have the”bad” in me. the most timid man lies in here…in me. i know I will never  be able to change myself. I know I will end up killing my family someday in future.

I wish I would never wake up tomorrow. It’s  2 O’clock in the morning….i still lay wide awake. Am I afraid to sleep just because my heart longs to never beat when I wake up tomorrow?

I am selfish till this last moment.